The first thing I felt, in the darkness, was a squelchy sickness in my stomach, pinning me in position. A fuzzy pain had descended on my head I could only think furtively beneath it's fog.

Through this gloom I remembered ordering margehrita late the previous night. There had been a look of disdain on barman's face. All around me were people ordering what looked like coctails, drinking coctails or slumbering over empty cocktail glasses. I thought I would fit in. They were drinking vodka, (with grapefruit). Asking for a full cocktail was bad form.

There had definately been dancing, I remembered being surrounded by techno and strobe lights. A vaguely quaint reminder of the mid nineties, made me feel young again. In the gloom surely nobody could see my grey hair. (Unless of course it was being picked out for all to see in some sort of club neon lighting).

By 2pm I had to get up, I'm only here for 2 days, spending one of them in bed was a total waste. Nausea came over me in waves in the tiled shower. I kept it together. A friend tells me to enjoy hangovers - they give you a different perspective on life. My perspective was now reduced to the scope of each step I took, each seemed harder than the last. We made it out of the hotel. Creeping to the corner of the street, keeping close to the wall. Had to slow down , I'm too old for this.

Krakow .... beer

I stared back, unable to speak. It was after midnight, I had been up since 5 and I'm not good without sleep.

"You have reservation?"

"Yes, here."

"Show me."

I showed her the email from the booking company, it had seemed so legitimate, I knew I'd get caught out one day by an Internet scam. But I was cocky. I'd been using the web for years, practically one of the first. You'd have to be good to catch me out. However pride comes before a fall and now in the middle of a December night I was going to be stranded. Sleeping at the train station beckoned.

"This is for our sister hotel, it's OK it's close".

It turned out it was less than a minute away. Within a few minutes we were checked in, the room was big and clean. It was getting close to 1am, "Should we go out and look for a beer?" I asked.

The journey had gone well enough, we'd arrived only slightly late at the airport. A subdued panic had set in as we left late and was heightened by missing the turning for the car park and travelling on to the moors beyond the airport. When we had driven past the airport for 10 minutes, reaching a derelict pub on the brow of a hill and seeing beyond nothing but moorland, we knew it was fucked up. "My sister lives not far from here," said B sensing I was stressed, "in fact I once went for a drink in that pub".

"Should I turn round?"

"Yes."

We turned left and finding a car park behind a dealership selling 4x4s to people misguided enough to think West Yorkshire was rough country we headed back on ourselves.

As usual tension flowed out as Stella flowed in and from the airport bar to the skies over Krakow a golden glow warmed and cheered me until the pilot interrupted our alcoholic descent. "Krakow lies in a valley and is prone to fog...in fact it would be illegal under European rules to attempt a landing at present". The street lights below seemed clear enough, I was convinced I'd landed in worse. Beijing had been only a polluted shadow but Air China pilots are clearly made of sterner stuff than budget airline staffers. Budget airline or not our pilot had the smooth yet authoritative voice they must teach at pilot school, "Luckily there is an alternative airport only 40 miles away, a coach will be waiting to take you to Krakow from there. It should only add an hour to your journey".

Katowice airport appeared unprepared for our arrival. There was no coach. A taxi stand sign claimed it was 120km to Krakow. It was already 10pm. The chances of pissing the first night in Krakow up a wall, seemed pissed up a wall.

As people waited for their bags we spotted a van waiting by the curb, the signed said Katowice-Krakow. For £4 we could be taken to either the train station or the town square said the bus drivers' mate. The refugees from the flight all agreed in the town square. Nobody knew where the station was. Money was collected and the organiser spoke to the driver and got off the bus.

The man in the front seat tried to strike up a conversation with the driver, "Good roads", he said waving his arm at the tarmac emerging from the night, "good roads". The driver grunted it was impossible to determine if he was agreeing, saying he didn't speak english or, as seemed most likely from his tone, telling us conversation cost extra. Skoda dealerships and recently built advertising hoarding slid by, the usual paraphernalia of the new Europe.

After some time we arrived at Krakow train station. The driver leaped out and enthusiastically started offloading cases. People asked for the town square, the driver waived his arm vaguely and snarled "is five minutes", jumping back in his bus he was gone. People drifted in the direction of the driver's wave. Some found taxis, others disappeared down side streets, presumably following maps.

The streets were almost deserted and only partially lit, mouldering 19th century apartment blocks were broken up by villas set in grounds. After 10 minutes we knew we were lost. No amount of wishful thinking drew any relationship between the map and the potholed streets we tentatively approached. A young couple studied our map intently for 10 minutes, searching the night skyline for clues as to our destination. After some whispered conversation they turned back to us. "Taxi" they said brightly, pointing back to where we had come from.

Fortunately getting a taxi was easy, after each twist and turn of the journey so far I sensed we were on the home straight as the geography of the city started to relate to the map I glanced at. "Here" said the driver, pulling up outside a hotel. We gladly ran up the steps into a smart reception, if the rooms were as good as the lobby then the trip would have been worth it. "Hello we have a reservation", the receptionist checked the ledger. "Err no I don't think so, the hotel is full".