Refugees from the Monkey Island

Saint Emilion
Originally uploaded by Flytipper

Migrants continue to flood the country, some of them barely speak French. Local people are unable to get hospital beds as english retirees cram the wards enjoying the wine, climate and health care they haven't paid for. In some villages there are hardly any french people left. Entering a busy cafe advertising steak hachette et frittes I shouldered my way past estate agents pinning up notices for fully renovated farm houses (Euro: 250,000) to the bar.

"Deux bier sil vous plaits"

"No problem mate, do you want any food?"

He explains his dad bought him the pub, the whole family has moved from West Yorkshire to rural France, "we're looking at build a driving range for golfers".

As fast as people are flooding into England to make money, the English are flooding out. Intoxicated with high property prices and post Thacherite-zeal we are fanning out through Europe. For years we've been decaying on the Costas, now we're silting up newly built Bulgarian beach resorts, buying up smack squats in Berlin and golf coursing over France.